Hi New Guys - Introduce Yourself

Talk about anything here as long as it is not against the rules.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat Jan 25, 2014 03:51

Say there buckaroos... look up on the ridge... why... that boodle of biscuit shooters is actually an infamous gang of desperados ridin` into camp! I`d know them anywhere! That` the feared and dreaded "Dauber Bunch" from Tucson! And their reputation precedes them... these owlhoots held up the Cattlemans`s Bank AND the stage coach on the way here. Lookie there... there`s ol` JJ, an escaped horsethief from England - I`d know those cold, staring, eyes anywhere! And those two female desperadoes on the hayburners right behind him... shootin` their pistols in the air... that`s IdaW from New York, and chefaid from Pennsylvania. Hey, there`s ol` dauber himself... all the way from Alabama too! He`s the one chawin` tabakker and crackin` a whip! And bringin` up the rear, watchin` for the posse, is dragrider jaceeday - another feared and legendary bronc bustin` bandito from England. Welcome to the WD brand folks. Ride on in and make yer` place at our campfire. It`s nice to have you with us. Pour a little Arbuckle`s and join the chat!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Thu Jan 30, 2014 01:25

Stuff I`ve Discovered Since I`ve Become "Older"! :shock:
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. And, my wild oats today are those with prunes and all-bran. Shucks, when I finally got my head together, my body started falling apart! And I don`t remember being so absent-minded. :roll: Funny, I don`t remember being so absent-minded. I can`t bend over anymore, but shucks, I believe if God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. :mrgreen: Funny, I don't remember being so absent-minded. And, oh yes, if I want the phone to ring, I just go to the bathroom. And I found that some days you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant! Yup, gettin' old is the pits!

Yeeee Haaaaaw! We have three more intelligent and good lookin` folks joinin` us today. Welcome to the WD outfit "abby" in Java, MetalMan in Missouri, and Gunny from "the boonies". We`re glad to have you with us. Join us `round the campfire for some brown gargle from the Green River.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:18

Say there smoke sniffers! Did you hear about the holdup this afternoon? Yup, a notorious gang of vicious sausagetwisters held up the 3:10 stage from Rock Creek as it came through Cactus Gap into Sweetwater Canyon. The entire episode turned into a shambles though as the banditos became friends with the passengers and they made a campfire and had coffee together before going their separate ways. Here`s how it happened.

First, some dude name Palladini from Canada pulled a squirt gun on the stagecoach driver. After soaking him down, the stage stopped and Palladini began showing all the passengers photos of his wife and kids! Next, a female gang-member named arda from India started dancing for everyone when she heard someone playin` a banjo inside the stage. Then meathands from Canada, put away his shootin` irons and began to show everyone his tap dance and ballet routines, while yet another Canadian gang member named CamG from Hamilton, entertained everyone with his special card tricks! Shucks, it was only a matter of minutes before mtngirlof5 from Idaho joined in with her harmonica, and praetor87 from Zwolle in the Netherlands, put away his hoglegs and joined the group by singin` his version of Swanee! Holy hickory smoke... what a holdup! :roll: Anyhow, buckaroos... welcome to Wedliny Domowe. Kick off yer` boots and pour some Arbuckle`s brown mudwater. Relax, you`re among friends.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by praetor87 » Sun Feb 02, 2014 13:46

That is the most original welcome ever. Thanks. Just startend sausuage making. Made my first yesterday with my new Porkert no8
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Post by el Ducko » Sun Feb 02, 2014 16:48

That blow to the head must have really hurt, huh, CW? Why, you hardly seem yourself.
Don't think I've ever seen ballet slippers pokin' out from beneath chaps before. Maybe the new look will catch on.
:mrgreen:
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Sprocket
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new here

Post by Sprocket » Sun Feb 02, 2014 19:35

I'm looking forward to learning lots :grin: Hello from snowy Michigan.
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Post by crustyo44 » Sun Feb 02, 2014 20:42

Hi Praetor,
Welcome to the Forum. I know Zwolle very well. I spend close to 2 years virtually next door in Wezep in the Army.
If you strike a problem or want to know more, just ask, lots of experience here.
Cheers,
Jan.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Wed Feb 05, 2014 04:45

Hi Sprocket and welcome aboard!
Does it really snow in Michigan? :roll: Or are you just puttin' us on? :wink:
We're glad to have you with us.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by praetor87 » Wed Feb 05, 2014 21:18

crustyo44 wrote:Hi Praetor,
Welcome to the Forum. I know Zwolle very well. I spend close to 2 years virtually next door in Wezep in the Army.
If you strike a problem or want to know more, just ask, lots of experience here.
Cheers,
Jan.

Thanks Jan.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri Feb 07, 2014 07:19

Hey sausage chompers! Isn`t it about time for some... Chuckwagon`s "That`s The Way It Really, Really, Was... History, The Way It SHOULD Have Been!" ? Yes, yes...allow me to tell you how people came to believe that turkey was actually served at the first Thanksgiving... instead of the REAL, little-known fowl that REALLY appeared on the plates of those confused pilgrims! Yes, yes.... Err...Uhh... I mean NO, NO, Noooo! It was Not the turkey served to the Pilgrims. No indeed. And only I, WagonChuck TrackRut (History Intransigent Sui Generis Extraordinaire) will soon put an end to this preposterous pagan poppycock!... This baseless, infuriating, balderdash! ... This erroneous, whimsical nonsense! :roll:
No, no, no! The commonly prevalent, dim-witted, ordinary and much exaggerated, "gobble-gobble" turkey was not served to the pilgrims by the Indians... as reported to every third grade child in America! Actually it was the little known, inimitably exquisite, tasty, and elegant blue-billed "Utah Skiing Duck"!
You see, it was my Great-Uncle`s second cousin, Mr. John "Shakey Jack" Blunderbuss, who shot the first Utah Blue Billed Skiing Duck, mistaking it for an elk! :roll: And that`s not all! Upon presenting it to the local Indians, Shakey Jack instantly became somewhat of a celebrity! You see, Shakey Jack was quite near-sighted and for him to shoot ANYTHING at all, was quite a task! Why, he once shot his wife Maybelline smack-dab in the rump, mistaking it for the north side of his barn! Consequently, "Shaky Jack" Blunderbuss was dragged to the eye doctor where he was fitted with coke-bottle lenses and to this day, he is honored for preserving the peace with the Indians by introducing the delicious blue-billed Meleagris gallopavo creature to Chief Wannum Les Bull, who exclaimed... "Anyone who shoots that badly, deserves a break!"
And that`s the way it really, really, was.

Welcome to Wedliny Domowe, `Sprocket` from Michigan, `PARich` from Marshall Creek, Pennsylvania, `BassLakeEd` in Illinois, `graybeard` in Columbus, Ohio, `Big E` in Illinois, and `rich71` in Ohio. It`s nice to have you folks with us. Pour a cup of Arbuckle`s from the pot on the campfire and find a place to sit on that big log over there. Kick yer` boots off... you`re among friends!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by el Ducko » Sat Feb 08, 2014 03:35

Chuckwagon wrote:...the little known, inimitably exquisite, tasty HEY! WAIT A MINNIT!, and elegant blue-billed "Utah Skiing Duck"!
Folks, you've been cruelly (and I DO mean cruelly) misled. In fact, I'm here, now, standing inside the offices of the World Sausage Olympic Committee, securing press credentials so I can report back to you, my adoring public, all the details of the Winter Sausage Olympics via good ol' website-and-forum WD. The official is making the phone call now, and momentarily...

WHAT??? Whataya mean, CW refused to accept the collect charges. Why, that guy is So Cheap - - kinda like the name of this town in Russia - - - Well, okay, so it's Sochi. Say that fast three times in Cyrillic, Buster, and I'll show you who's...

Whatzat? ...pay my own way? ...and the damages in that bar fight, too? Why, I oughta...

Lissen here, Chuck E. Wagon, if you think I'm gonna...(telephone mumbling in background) Yeah, but you said "inimitably exquisite." A couple a minutes ago, I couldn't even SAY "inimitably" without smacking my beak and coating everyone within three feet... uh... meters... with beer, and now...

(...more telephone mumbling) But who's gonna report on the salami slalom? Who's gonna describe the freestyle casing balloon sculpture event? Who's gonna recount our heroic athletes' exploits during the beef bung lunge-and-luge event? ...and the figure skating? You know, the promised double axel, double axle, downhill wash-and-wax-el? You don't have to wear half the world's output of sequins, like that Utah Skiing Duck, to tell me that our inquiring readers' minds want, no, CRAVE that live-action intelligence.

Yeah, so what if we drew the 3:30-to-4-AM slot. Ptui! The world deserves... ...hello? ...hello? (dial tone)

Phooey! Grumpy ol' guy probably hasn't had his Arbuckle's yet. Rise and shine, CW! It's almost 4AM, your time.
Time for the Winter Sausage Olympics!

(This message brought to you by those 10,000 Asian women who advertise on WD, on behalf of Yours Truly, el Ducko. So, until next time, folks, keep those cards and letters coming, and don't forget to write on 'em, too. Now, about these "postage due" problems...)
Experience - the ability to instantly recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:57

Anybody know when Duck Hunting Season begins? :twisted:
Did you folks know that El DuckO was addicted to hokey pokey... but he turned himself around!
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Thu Feb 13, 2014 13:12

Look out sheriff! They`re robbing the bank! Look-ey there... at that bandito pullin` down the bank`s window shade! Hey, I recognize those desperadoes... Yup, that`s ol` Tdibiasio from Rhode Island. Some say he`s meaner than a spring grizzly! And that big guy backing out of the bank with a money sack in his left hand and his six-gun in the other! ... why, that`s the one-and-only, sharp-shootin` ol` jayjay out of British Columbia. What are you boys going to do with all that loot? Open a sausage kitchen? :roll: Say fellas, stop by the WD outfit later and join us for some Arbuckle`s `round the ol` campfire. We need to know how this story comes out.
Oh, yes... welcome to Wedliny Domowe boys. Nice to have you with us.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Mon Feb 17, 2014 14:40

Ya know, you're never too old to learn something stupid. You can avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. And shucks, you really only need two tools in life. They are WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn`t move and does, use the duct tape. And if you can`t fix it with a hammer, you`ve got an electrical problem.

Welcome to Wedliny Domowe "jbartnik" in Oklahoma. Pull up some campfire and make yourself at home pard! You're among friends.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri Feb 21, 2014 19:42

Yikes, lookey there... just beyond the cacti! Three rag proper waddies tryin` to make a mash! Hey those boys are jo-fired to kick up a row and curry the kinks out! Come on in boys and rest those desert canaries! There`s hot Arbuckle`s on the campfire and the dough puncher is passin` out bear sign! Toss yer` cady and sit a spell.

Hey, did I ever tell you boys about the time a tough old cowboy from the northern university of south Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. Well pards, the grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died. He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. Sorta brings a tear to your eye, don't it? :roll:

Welcome aboard wkw from the Alberta badlands, Grumpysimmons in Livingston, Texas, and mark kiwi in Queensland, Australia. Say, which one of you boys is fastest on the draw? :shock: It`s nice to have you with us fellas! Now, shoot the lock off that strongbox and let`s have a look inside!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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