Duck Hunting!

Talk about anything here as long as it is not against the rules.
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el Ducko
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...a hurried retraction

Post by el Ducko » Thu Aug 14, 2014 21:12

Uh... just kidding, folks.

Easy there, CW. Put the gun down and nobody gets hurt. (...especially me.)
:mrgreen:
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Post by rgauthier20420 » Thu Aug 14, 2014 22:00

This makes me laugh. Thanks for that :lol:
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Post by cogboy » Thu Aug 14, 2014 22:37

Emeritus -at -large ! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri Aug 15, 2014 01:14

Duk, you're sick! Everyone knows that. What you need is a size 12 Justin leather enema! :roll: Please allow me to administer it! :mrgreen:

Dang Rabid Duck! Image
Last edited by Chuckwagon on Fri Aug 15, 2014 22:40, edited 1 time in total.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by el Ducko » Fri Aug 15, 2014 21:48

I should mention to those of you readers who are not from the USA that, for the most part, disputes are no longer settled with firearms. Instead, we at WD resolve things with jerky guns or, better still, sausages. It's not covered in the Marianskis' books, but it is possible to tie hog casing into all sorts of shapes, just like the balloons that clowns use. ...only, the clowns, er, forum members on WD are expected to stuff the casing with sausage mince before tying all sorts of fanciful shapes.

So, there ya are, Mister Chuck E. Wagon. ...sausages at twenty paces. ...then, sheep-casing breakfast sausages at ten paces, followed by snack sticks at five. (We ARE going to do Kabonosy, right, CW? Aw, please, Please, PLEASE![whine])
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri Aug 15, 2014 22:45

Speak for yourself you.... you... you oxytropis lambertii !
Where's my .12 gauge!
OOOOOoooooo you... you... Dang Rabid Duck! Image
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by redzed » Sat Aug 16, 2014 04:08

el Ducko wrote:I should mention to those of you readers who are not from the USA that, for the most part, disputes are no longer settled with firearms. Instead, we at WD resolve things with jerky guns or, better still, sausages. It's not covered in the Marianskis' books, but it is possible to tie hog casing into all sorts of shapes, just like the balloons that clowns use. ...only, the clowns, er, forum members on WD are expected to stuff the casing with sausage mince before tying all sorts of fanciful shapes.

So, there ya are, Mister Chuck E. Wagon. ...sausages at twenty paces. ...then, sheep-casing breakfast sausages at ten paces, followed by snack sticks at five. (We ARE going to do Kabonosy, right, CW? Aw, please, Please, PLEASE![whine])
:mrgreen:
The above buffoonery brought to mind an incident from the Russo-Finnish War of 1939-40. One of my favourite history professors (a Latvian aristocrat who despised the Soviets), described it with great relish in an undergraduate class about 45 years ago. ($hit, am I getting old!) I had completely forgotten about it until el Ducko brought up the subject of combat with sausages. I googled and found a summary of what is known as The Sausage War. Enjoy.

http://www.strangehistory.net/2011/08/2 ... usage-war/
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Post by el Ducko » Wed Sep 03, 2014 15:32

In light of all the recent... uh... whatever, I too have updated my... whatever. ...wrinkle-proof flame-retardant super-hero sausage-maker outfit.
Whataya think? (...chortle, chortle...)
Now, where's that danged cowboy hat? (...muttering...)
(...rummages through closet.)
(...grinder parts, soccer ball, swim fins, cleaver, hammer fly past...)

Image :mrgreen:
"Sufferin' Succotash," to quote an old buddy.
What does "chortle" mean, anyway? ...sounds diabolical.
Hmmmm... I kinda like that.
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Post by Shuswap » Wed Sep 03, 2014 16:47

Red I see that the Battle of the Sausages tale opens with this: "Beachcombing has been paying perhaps too much attention to Finland in the last two months: the result of a long infatuation with Mannerheim, the aristocratic military commander who twice saved his young country from the Soviets.... He moved onto a WIBT moment in the court of the red Tsar when Finnish democrats had the naivety to tell Stalin and Molotov to buck up and respect international law."

History does repeat itself with the UN`s response to Russian intrusions into the Ukraine. :roll:
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Post by cogboy » Wed Sep 03, 2014 23:54

History does repeat itself with the UN`s response to Russian intrusions into the Ukraine. :roll:[/quote]

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Introducing a Man Who Needs No Introduction

Post by el Ducko » Sat Sep 06, 2014 04:18

Introducing a Man Who Needs No Introduction (so I will, anyway.)
Many of you are probably wondering- - "Who is this RedZed guy, and why hasn`t el Ducko properly introduced him?" Well, ya see, it`s like this- - he's been around a long time already. (See those little "age" and "joined" thingies on the left of his posts?) Besides, how many Datsun jokes have you heard lately? (Hey! You! ...kid in the back. Whataya mean, " Mommy, what`s a Datsun? ")

Well, before you yank the kid out of his seat and go wash his mouth out with soap- - Yes, Virginia, there is, make that was, a Datsun Motor Company, and it made a sporty model called the 220-Z. It later morphed into a 240-Z, then a 260-Z, then a 280-Z, then a 300-Z, then a... proving once and for all that the Japanese marketing system is really good at counting up by twenties. ...gained weight every time it morphed, kinda like that recent girlfriend of yours did, Bubbie. (Sorry about that.) Yeah, painful it was, Master Yoda. The force within it, strong was, but not so strong as to resist the dark side, beneath which rust was gathering. ...gathering was. Whatever.

But what does it matter, anyway? ...turns out that RedZed`s red "Z" was a Beemer, a BMW Z4. ...says he had bad luck with it, and got rid of it, but boy was it sexy-looking. ...and expensive to keep running, once the warranty ran out.

Yeah, I dated a few girls like that, too, but cars...? Beemers have lots of highly-engineered, high-German plastic parts which like to come apart, occasionally at high speed, mostly at inconvenient times. My son in law has had several. ...bought at auction, he installs several hundred dollars of plastic parts in `em and sells `em on Craig`s List.

Well, that Datsun 280-Z was as close to sexy-looking as I ever got. ...mid-life crisis, ya know. I bought one second-hand, a formerly green one which had, in its ten-year life, been painted red, possibly by a kindergarten finger-painting-class-gone-street-gang. That little sucker would get up and go!

It got up and went to the Datsun dealer once, for repairs. They shook their heads, said something in South Texas Japanese which translates to "So sorry. Datsun now Nissan. Hit road, Jack. Have nice day elsewhere." With no warranty, as RedZed found out too, you need your own mechanic and plenty of jack to keep it running. ...or like my friend who owned two Jaguars, you need a spare because the other one is always in the shop.

My red Z had two convenient compartments behind the two bucket seats, one just big enough for a set of jumper cables and the other just right for a nylon tow strap. It was fuel-injected, meaning that when gasoline started containing ethanol, the goo from the hoses clogged the injectors regularly. (Apparently the word neoprene had no Japanese equivalent, in those days.)

But I loved that car. Even though I am somewhat, make that much what, bigger than the average Japanese driver, each time I stepped down and wedged my rear into its driver`s seat, looked out past that long hood through the haze in the windshield safety laminate, and strapped myself in, I felt like I was doing a pre-flight check in a fighter plane.

Then, I would turn the ignition switch, watch the needles kick, and hope that there was enough battery charge left to get it going. Often there was, and I would crank and crank until the thing started with a throaty roar.

"Gotta get some cough drops for the poor thing," I would mutter, then slip it into gear. The first clutch was so far gone that you could slip it into gear without using the clutch, and you could run the RPM up and wait until the car itself caught up. Second clutch was stiffer, but I got a good price on it. Third clutch, a few months later, had a better spring in it, and didn`t split like the second one.

The polymer fiber in the car`s rugs had deteriorated from the sun`s ultraviolet rays, but I didn`t care. I would roll the windows down, feel the wind in my hair, and let the plastic particles blow out and fall where they may. This strategy worked well until I hefted something compact and heavy, I forget what, into the little area behind the passenger seat and it kept on going. ...not good. ...metal mites, a.k.a. rust, at work. I bought a set of cheap floor mats, but I knew that our days together were limited.

"Oh, what a wonderful car!" oldest daughter`s mother-in-law told me. "I had my first kiss in one. Later..." I don`t think you want to know what else she had done there. I sold it to her for $100. It lasted about a year. Daughter`s marriage lasted a bit longer, but not much.

...coincidence? I dunno. It wasn`t covered in the owners` manual, and the warranty had expired much earlier. All I can tell you is that our buddy, WD`s own RedZed, his former car not withstanding, is a whole lot more solid than... Uh... make that, in better repair than... uh... lower mileage than... uh...

Anyway, hallucinogenic mushroom hobby aside, you`ll like having RedZed as a moderator. He gives good, solid sausage advice, understands the Polish language, speaks a Canadian dialect of English too (quite an accomplishment, eh?), and has overcome many adversities in life. ...such as the frustrations of owning a red Z of any make. ...sorry- - make that a Red-Zed.
Duk
:mrgreen:
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Post by redzed » Sat Sep 06, 2014 17:46

Thanks el Duckie! Yeah the Red Z4 is gone. It was a head turner when I first got it and my dream car. But it really would have served me better if I had a car like that when I was 25 not 55! And it was not really that practical when it came to hauling a box of pork legs. So I finally started acting my age, sold the BMW and now drive a brown Toyota Tacoma and sometimes my wife's Jetta. So maybe it's time to change my handle from Redzed to BrownTaco? :shock:

I visited the archives and found a pic of you in that red Datsun, and you're right, there was very little room in that car. I can understand why you look so frustrated. Now if if we could only convince CW to start using motorized transportation. He would be able to travel greater distances and appease the HOA who are upset that he keeps a horse in his garage in that seniors' village he lives in!

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Miss. Re-miss.

Post by el Ducko » Sun Sep 07, 2014 03:06

Introducing ANOTHER Man Who Needs No Introduction (so I will, anyway, too, sorta.)
I would be remiss (whatever that is) if I didn`t re-introduce our Beloved Senior Moderator, Señor Chuckwagon, Senior, to you. Since his promotion (some say, elevation) to Monsignor Moderator, good ol` long-suffering Chuckwagon is now the equal, and most say the greater, of a distinguished, extinguished group, those who have "made it." Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Chuck E. Wagon are such notables as Chuck E. Cheese, uh... hmmm. ...had that list right here, a moment ago. ...wouldja believe, say, Chuck Norris, Chuck Conners, Chuck Berry...? (Naah. ...me neither.)

Well, you get the idea. There`s no question but that Monsignor Moderator Chuckwagon (that's Mister Monsignor Wagon to you, Son) stands head-and-shoulders above everyone out there shorter than he, including all the major shampoo brands. In fact, if you lined up cardboard copies of Chuckwagon`s likeness from his front door to the equator, you`d probably get a few of `em recycled, this being trash day. Four out of five doctors recommend that this be done without a grain of salt, on the possibility that one or the other might be bad for you. Me, I`m putting my money on Chuckwagon.

Many don`t know it, but Chuckles gave up an accomplished career in law enforcement, just to be our moderator. Oh, sorry- - make that Señor Moderator. As a sheriff in Utah for 20 years he... well, he did sheriff-ish type stuff. ...was injured in the line of duty, and is lucky to be with us at all. ... plays the piano, and in fact has a degree in music, among several other degrees... (insert 3rd degree joke here.) Goes to church every Sunday, probably to repent for... uh... we won`t go there. ...probably for competing with the Norman Ta Barnacle Choir or somethin`. (He`s REALLY good at that piano stuff, I hear.
Brown Taco, uh, Redzed wrote: Now if if we could only convince CW to start using motorized transportation. He would be able to travel greater distances and appease the HOA who are upset that he keeps a horse in his garage in that seniors' village he lives in!
While Red and I were (well, okay, while I was) discussing red cars, CW continues his `old west` shtick, and it`s fascinating what historically-accurate trivia the man can come up with. He`d a genius! (If only it could be constructively... oops... wasn`t supposed to hint at that., Sorry, `folks in white coats.`) I get the idea that, these days, he mostly herds micro-cattle (in the form of bacteria), and for this we are all grateful. Just pronouncing the names of those little critters is hard enough. No more `bossie,` no sir. We done gone back ta thuh Latin, we has. ...and if I were you, Bubbie, I`d stay out of that 40 degF to 130 degF `danger zone` if you know what's good for you. Otherwise, ol` CW and his WD posse gonna gitcha! ...if the micro-cattle don`t first, that is. ...and if you think he was dedicated to his job before, watch out! He`s a senior moderator now.

Hey! Wait a minute. Doesn`t the word "senior" imply that a person is over 65?
Why didn`t ya say so, Ol` Timer? ...coulda saved a whole lotta hassle.
:mrgreen:
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Post by Gulyás » Sun Sep 07, 2014 04:55

Hey Doc,
I mean Duk,
I'm going to add, that He must have a French girlfriend, and an Italian chef too, before He can say that He's got it made. :mrgreen:
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