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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Wed Feb 26, 2014 06:46

Did you know that your forearm (from inside of the elbow to inside of the wrist) is the same length as your foot? In the case of El Cuckoo DuckOO, the length of his beak is about half the size of his ego. And did you know the average person has at least seven dreams a night and each lasts only two or three seconds? Me? I don`t have dreams... I have nightmares about some Texan Duck sneakin` around behind me with an axe!
Did you know that by the time you are 70 you will have easily drunk over 12,000 gallons of water? Shucks folks, there are Texan ducks who drink that much beer in a week! :shock:

Say, look at all the new faces on the wanted posters in the Post Office here at WD. There are some real desperadoes eh? Yup, there`s ol` "npede" from Victoria and glodek of Woodbridge, New Jersey! Those guys look tough eh? And there... that`s ol` jscarbo in town with his spurs on! He`s a long way from his San Jose, Costa Rica. I wonder how he got his horse here? Swim? And there... two of the toughest hombres I`ve ever known. They both shoot double-rigged hoglegs of the .45 caliber! Yup, that`s Big Al out of Kansas and EverydayJoe from Carmel, New York. What a tough bunch. The sheriff is going to go crazy if he rides into this camp tonight. Why... goodness - there is garhof out of Nebraska. He`s quick on the draw and his sidekick haeffnkr from St. Peters, Missouri is reported to be even faster on the draw. Yup, these boys eat nails and pass rails! Welcome to WD gents! Hang up yer' shootin' irons and pull up some campfire. Pour yourselves some Arbuckle`s brown gargle and kick off yer' boots... you're among friends!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by npede12 » Tue Mar 04, 2014 16:38

Hi all. And thanks for the welcome Chuckwagon :smile:

Nigel
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Post by el Ducko » Wed Mar 05, 2014 16:58

...and did you ALSO know that, if you partially split one of Chuckwagon's biscuits, soak it in a little of that Arbuckle's that he claims he just made (last week?), stick it on an ax handle, then bind it with sinew soaked in some of that cheap alleged beer that he's been supplying our riders with, it makes a nifty, hefty ax?. ...the type of which several of us ouch-here on the prairie are a- hankerin' to rearrange the part on his scalp?

Yup- - "live by the sword, die by the sword" holds for biscuit-flavored axes, too. ...or is it ax-flavored biscuits? Thar's enough iron rust in the water around whar we camp ta make an honest-to-goodness ax head. In fact, rather than refrigerate the leftover biscuits, he jes' sticks 'em on the side of the metal box whar he keeps... jes' what IS that what he keeps in that box? Hmmm....
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Post by Chuckwagon » Thu Mar 06, 2014 04:30

El Quacko "beaked" the words...
Thar's enough iron rust in the water around whar we camp ta make an honest-to-goodness ax head.

Duk... You ARE an ax head! :mrgreen:

Oh, and you asked me how I got down off my horse. Well, I don't get down off a horse... I get down off a goose... (or a Texas duck!) :shock:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon[/i]
Last edited by Chuckwagon on Thu Mar 06, 2014 05:13, edited 1 time in total.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by el Ducko » Thu Mar 06, 2014 04:57

Chuckwagon wrote:Oh, and you asked me how I got down off my horse. Well...
I believe the correct term for what you leave on the ground when you dismount the way YOU do (provided by German ski enthusiasts) is called a sitzmark. (In Utah/Texas parlance, "You done got throwed.")

...or else, they've combined the diving and equestrian events for the next summer Olympics, so now you can do your usual trademark ® one-and-a-half gainer dismount (always a crowd pleaser!) and get points fer it.
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Post by Chuckwagon » Thu Mar 06, 2014 05:14

OOOOOOooooo you, you..... you.... You Duk! :roll:
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri Mar 07, 2014 05:19

Four more incredibly intelligent folks joining the WD outfit today! How do I know they are so smart? Well, they joined us here at Wedliny Domowe didn`t they? :mrgreen:
Welcome aboard kellycanter in New York, justin140 in Spokane, Washington, davidwright24 in Denver, Colorado, and Dixon in California. It`s nice to have you folks with us. Pull up some campfire and join us for a cup of Arbuckle`s brown gargle - hot mudwater from the Green River. Kick off yer` boots n` spurs too! You`re among friends.

Say, isn`t it just about time for another snootfull of... "Chuckwagon`s Saddlebum`s Sagebrush Sagacity & Wild Horse Western Wisdom"? Well here it is...

If something don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't. Remember that great achievements involve great risk. Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway. And if you get knocked on your face, just remember, your buckle `jes don't shine in the dirt, so get up... you ain`t hurt!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by jscarbo » Fri Mar 07, 2014 17:41

Chuckwagon, speaking of biscuits, I'm not sure about axe-flavored ones but I just took a look at your sourdough biscuit and rye bread recipes and they look great: http://wedlinydomowe.pl/en/viewtopic.php?t=5830

Now that I'm beginning to post, I'm discovering that I don't really know where to post recipes, in existing threads or by starting my own new ones. So, feel free to move my recipes if appropriate and let me know how you prefer me to post recipes in the future.

My specialties are traditional Southern regional cooking (including southern barbecue) and seafood, and in the past I've owned and operated both barbecue and native Florida seafood restaurants.

Anyway, although I like fooling around with sourdough breads they're usually not worth the effort to me because I've got so many other non-sourdough recipes that work well for me. I just posted a couple of my rye bread recipes here: http://wedlinydomowe.pl/en/viewtopic.php?p=25118#25118

I thought maybe I'd share a couple of traditional southern breads, as I learned from my grandmothers and great-grandmothers. This is how we've made them in the Deep South for centuries but it's now becoming a lost art that few remember.

Southern Skillet Cornbread

This is my favorite cornbread. You'll find it a bit different from the way most people make it today. Most notably, it's cooked in a skillet on top of the stove, not baked in the oven. In the Old South, baking was done in wood-fired outdoor ovens, or in detached kitchens. Cooking indoors was hot, unpleasant work and many cooks avoided it, particularly in the summertime.

2/3 cup plain white cornmeal (preferably stone-ground)
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 large egg
3 Tbsp (approx.) bacon grease
1 cup (approx.) milk

Melt the bacon grease in an 8" or 9" heavy skillet (cast iron is best) over medium-high heat. In a bowl, mix the dry ingredients together with a large spoon. Add the egg and 2/3 of the milk. Stir to mix, then pour most of the melted bacon grease into the batter, leaving a little in the bottom of the skillet. Stir again and check the consistency. It should be pourable, about the consistency of thick pancake batter. If needed, add more milk or a little water.

Pour the batter into the skillet, cover and immediately reduce the heat to medium-low. Cook about 10 to 12 minutes, until the edges begin to appear dry and it's beginning to set in the center. There should be bubbles on top that aren't closing back up. Run a spatula or pancake turner under the bread, lift it slightly (it should be firm enough not to break or fall apart), put the skillet upside down over the top, and flip the whole thing so the uncooked portion is now in the bottom of the skillet. Cover again and cook another 10 minutes or so. Turn it out onto a plate, cut into wedges and serve it hot with butter. Serves 6.

South Georgia Biscuits

These are traditional hand-formed biscuits as made by my family for generations. Unlike most recipes, they are formed entirely by hand, not rolled and cut. Once you master the technique, you can make them very quickly and will find the texture and appearance to be much better than rolled biscuits.

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup whole milk

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In a large bowl, stir dry ingredients together. Cut in shortning with a pastry blender or by rubbing between your fingers until the mixture resembles course meal. Pour in the milk all at once and stir with a large spoon until the dough is evenly moist. It should be sticky. Let it rest for a couple of minutes. No kneading or turning the dough is necessary. You do this as part of forming the biscuits.

With well-floured hands, pinch off pieces of dough (about 12), and roll them into balls between the palms of your hands. This is also the kneading process so you need to work the dough a little and product well-formed balls, not just spoon it out in lumps. If the dough is too sticky to work, sprinkle a little more flour on it but you want to keep it as sticky as possible to produce a light, moist biscuit. Place the balls a couple of inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet. With floured knuckles, press each ball down to about 1/2 inch thickness.

Bake on the center rack of your oven at 450 degrees for 11 to 12 minutes, until browned. Serve hot with butter.

NOTES:
1. Stale baking powder won't rise. Be sure you use fresh, in-date baking powder.
2. 2. If using self-rising flour, omit the baking powder and salt.
3. To make buttermilk biscuits, add 1/4 tsp baking soda to the other dry ingredients. Buttermilk will make a sticker dough and you may need to sprinkle a little more flour on the dough as you're forming the biscuits.
4. Some people like their biscuits sweet instead of salty. If you're one of them, reduce the salt a little and add some sugar.
5. Biscuits need to cook in a hot (450 degree) oven. If uncertain about your oven, check the temperature with a thermometer. Cook on the center rack (or the the next one above it). If your rack is too high or too low, either the tops or the bottoms are likely to burn before they're done.
6. I originally posted this recipe several years ago on Allrecipes and it has since become one of their top-rated recipes. If interested, the comments and ratings are on allrecipes.com, under the title South Georgia Biscuits. Their editors slightly modified my recipe, without my permission. It annoyed me and I've never submitted to them again. This is the original version I submitted to them. The modified version on allrecipies calls for kneading the dough, which is an unnecessary step and produces an inferior result.
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Post by el Ducko » Fri Mar 07, 2014 18:40

jscarbo wrote:2/3 cup plain white cornmeal...
Farther west, we prefer yellow cornmeal. Otherwise, though, thanks very much for a more traditional version of cornbread, by which I mean, a recipe with bacon drippin's and without tons of sugar.

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong (CW will, even if I'm RIGHT!!!), but sugar didn't enter the scene until Fanny Farmer started adding tons of it to everything. (Her cookbook was published in 1896.) Traditional Southern "po' folks' fare" was dominated by cornbread, molasses, and greens. They didn't have purified sugar. As to our recipe, I leave out even the 1/2 teaspoon of sugar that you use, and use more salt.

Cornbread- - - the ultimate comfort food! Thanks for the recipes, and please keep 'em coming. (...but not for greens or grits. I overdosed on both as a kid.)
Duk
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat Mar 08, 2014 01:58

Now listen here Duk, you goofy ol` coot! Don`t make me use uppercase! You are a taco short of a combo plate! What do you know about Fanny Farmer? You were only 3 years old in 1896! :roll: Fanny Farmer... my gluteus maximus!
That feathered fraud wrote:
I overdosed on both as a kid.
Duk
Ah Haaaa! Now we`re beginning to understand. I don`t know what your condition is, but I`ll bet it`s really hard to pronounce. :roll:
Now straighten up and fly right you... you.... you........ Duk! :???: OOOOoooooooooo!
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by jscarbo » Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:04

In most of the Deep South, white cornmeal is much more commonly used. In fact, I'd never even heard of yellow cornmeal until I was grown up. Here's what White Lily says about the two: "The only difference between white and yellow corn meal is the color of corn used when it was ground. White corn meal is ground white corn, and yellow corn meal starts with yellow corn. They are interchangeable in recipes. Historically, white corn meal is preferred in the South and yellow is preferred in Texas and the rest of the U.S." (http://www.whitelily.com/FAQs.aspx#cornmeal)

Nowadays, you can buy either in most of the chain grocery stores but when I was a kid yellow corn meal wasn't even sold in the southeast. White Lily still doesn't sell yellow. Given a choice, I buy stone ground meal and grits from small independent mills in North Georgia, Tennessee and the Carolinas. As far as I know, none of them sell yellow corn meal either.

As for greens, I'm not a big fan of collard greens and they were seldom served by my family but we've always eaten a lot of other greens, including kale, rape, mustard and turnip greens. We usually cook the first three as mixed greens, served with cornbread to soak up the pot liquor.
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Post by el Ducko » Sat Mar 08, 2014 17:39

...makes sense. I can't recall ever having eaten white cornmeal west of the Mississippi (which my wife, a native Texan, referred to as "moving to the Far East" when my job transferred me to North Carolina).

Seems to us, though, that there is a definite difference in both flavor and texture. I can't imagine making decent tamales out of white corn masa. In fact, in the aftermath of the Aventis genetically-modified corn contamination (2000-2001), they had to buy back the entire yellow corn crop. That, plus the use of corn for ethanol for fuel consumption, has adversely affected the corn market. Yellow corn products are harder to find these days.
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Post by jscarbo » Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:26

I wonder if regional preference for white vs yellow corn has anything to do with climate differences and other growing conditions or is purely local tradition. In Costa Rica, masa is made from white corn and it works fine for tamales. Just about the only yellow corn I've seen here is used for animal feed and I'm not sure if it's locally grown or imported.
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Post by jscarbo » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:21

For those who are interested, here are a few of my barbecue recipes. They're based on recipes I used in my barbecue joint but have been adapted for home use. Except for the optional use of sazon completa, which can be found in the Latin foods section of most supermarkets, they're fairly traditional Georgia/Western North Carolina style pork barbecue recipes but should work fine for beef and chicken.

Dry Rub For Pork Shoulder and Ribs

1/2 cup course black pepper
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup paprika
1/4 cup salt
1/3 cup sazon completa, optional
2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp dry mustard
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp onion powder

Mop For Pork Shoulder and Ribs

1 cup vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup prepared yellow mustard
2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp course black pepper
1 Tbsp salt
2 tsp onion powder
2 tsp garlic powder
2 Tbsp cooking oil
Hot sauce to taste

Mix together and simmer 15 minutes to marry the flavors.

Barbecue Glaze

1 cup catsup
1 onion, finely chopped
1/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup vinegar
1/2 cup water
3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
3 Tbsp brown sugar
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp course black pepper
2 tsp salt
Hot sauce to taste

Mix together and simmer 15 minutes to marry the flavors. NOTE: This is not a table sauce although it can be used as one. The problem is that many guests will pour on sauce before tasting the food and this is fairly strong and can overpower the meat. For this reason, I prefer to serve a milder table sauce and normally use this only as a glaze for the meat during the last 15 to 30 minutes of cooking. When the meat is done, apply the glaze and continue cooking with indirect heat until the glaze begins to dry and become sticky. Be careful not to burn the glaze.

My Table Sauce

1 bottle Hunt's Original Barbecue Sauce
1/4 to 1/2 cup vinegar
2 Tbsp sazon completa, optional
2 Tbsp lemon juice
Hot sauce to taste

Mix together and simmer 15 minutes to marry the flavors.

Easy Baked Beans

6 to 8 cans Campbell's or Van Camp Pork and Beans
3/4 cup catsup, approximately
1/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp black pepper
1 Tbsp prepared yellow mustard or 1/2 tsp dry mustard
1/4 to 1/3 lb uncooked bacon, chopped (or use fatty trimmings from pork shoulder or ribs if you have them)

Pour the un-drained beans into a casserole dish and add catsup until color and flavor are as desired. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired. Bake uncovered for one hour at 350F.

Eat and enjoy!
Jim S.
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Post by el Ducko » Sun Mar 09, 2014 16:03

Another regional (or smaller) difference- - Duck's Law: "Five miles down the road, barbecue is different."

In central Texas, sauce is not served with the meat, and the meat is beef brisket or sausage. Mop is unnecessary. Ask for sauce and they look at you funny (but still take your money). "It's about the meat," we remind people (occasionally adding a pejorative when you're out of earshot). ...and chopped barbecue is the cuttings and scraps, saved for tourists from the east.

Great fun, isn't it?
:mrgreen:

P.S. Beware of nasty jokes about people who consider ketchup an ingredient. ...or worse- - put ketchup on a hotdog in Chicago, and see what happens!
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